Page 3: I’m Still Here: Showing Up, Even When It Hurts

By: Brandon Matthew Deen, Sr.

I'm not sorry for needing rest. I'm not sorry for setting boundaries. I'm not sorry for choosing what's best for my body, even when it inconveniences others. I have MS, and despite the unpredictability, fatigue, missed plans, and the constant energy calculations I do to get through each day, I am still a parent, a husband, a professional, and a friend. I show up in the ways I can, when I can. That deserves respect, not judgement.

What I need isn't pity or permission. I need space to exist without explaining, to be believed without proof, and to live honestly even if that makes others uncomfortable. I'm doing the best I can with what I've got, and that deserves understanding, not unsolicited advice or sidelong looks. I've learned to protect my peace and listen to my limits, not just to survive but to improve my quality of life.

I didn't ask for this. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But I hold close the words in 1 Corinthians 10:13: "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humanity. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." MS has tested every part of me, but it hasn't broken me. It's made me more aware. More intentional. More present.

I still laugh with my family. I still work. I still show up for the people I love. I still advocate. I still fight not just for myself but also for others with invisible illnesses who are expected to justify pain no one else can see. This disease may shape my day-to-day reality, but it doesn't get to define who I am.

So no, I'm not sorry for how I handle this illness. I'm still here. I'm still fighting. And for today, for right now, that's more than enough.