Page 2: Unfiltered Truths: What you Don’t See, I Still Live With
By: Brandon Matthew Deen, Sr.
One time, someone asked me, "Do you think it's all in your head?" Yeah, it is. That's how MS works. I've got five lesions on my brain to prove it. This disease lives in my head and my spine. It shows up in the missed signals between my brain and my body that make daily tasks unpredictable. This isn't imagination, it's biology. It's documented through MRIs of my brain, my cervical spine, my thoracic spine, hours of neurological testing, bloodwork, and pain that I didn't ask for. Years of lived experience back it up, whether you believe it or not.
Another invisible trigger most people overlook is heat. I've learned that direct sunlight can seriously affect me. Natural vitamin D might work for some, but without shade or airflow, staying in the sun too long can be harmful. I've ended hot days feeling completely wiped out, dizzy, weak, and barely able to function the next morning. I'm not being dramatic when I avoid the heat—I'm protecting myself from a full-body crash.
Some days I talk about my MS, and other days I don't. I wear awareness gear when I can. I ride for the cause. I speak up. But on some days, I go quiet. Neither version of me is more real or more valid. Whether I'm loud and visible or private and processing, I'm still living with MS. Still navigating it. Still pushing forward with every ounce of energy I can muster.
That's something I've had to learn the hard way: there's no right way to live with this disease. Some people want to be warriors in public. Others fight silently. I've done both. What matters isn't how loud you are about your illness, but that you're still here, still fighting, still doing what it takes to get through the day.
My journey with MS has cleared out the noise. It's forced me to be honest about what I need, what I can handle, and what I can no longer pretend about. I don't owe anyone a show or explanation for what they can't see. I'm not interested in convincing others anymore. I want to survive, live, and do it in a way that's real.
